Mom = Monk.........

A friend told me a while ago he wanted to run away, become a Monk and bake bread..........

That's exactly how I feel right now. I want to run away and bake bread.......

My son once told me I was like Monk. You know - Monk from T.V.

I forgot why he told me that but what ever the situation was, I could not argue with him because I had been caught - I was probably doing something stupid that seemed to mean something to me when it was happening but it was just something trivial to the rest of the world......

I am by no means trying to make light of the fact that some people really do have serious OCD but I definitely do think that I have a serious problem........
Call it OCD, call it Monk-ism, call it just plain crazy - What ever you want to call it I definitely do have a problem.......

I confess - I am probably one of the most disorganized people you will ever meet.
I am late for everything and I lose just about anything........

But then there are these crazy times - Like today - Where I have this crazy need to organize things........ I will spend hours lining up all the boxes and cans in my pantry. Yes, I know it is a waste of time and I know it will not stay like that but for a brief time things are in order and I know where things belong and somehow at least one little part of my life is in order.........

So here I am now with enough pasta, tuna fish, Chef-Boyardee and Chicken Broth to last a year.

Why do I have this much??? Well, cause it was on sale ofcourse....... Gotta stock up when it's on sale - That is when you do it - It's like an unwritten law in my little mind...... And then for a brief time at least, all that stuff has to be nicely lined up - And all is well in the world........

Now if I could just get everything else in my life to be all nicely lined up so I could find things and everything else could be all nicey, nicey in neat little piles so I would not have to think so much about how to make things work out.

I know the answer is to take things one step at a time. If you start at one end of the house - or one part of your life - and work your way through to the end, one day you will find yourself "done" and you can sit back and look at your house - or your life - and say "It is perfect".

Problem is I just cant figure out where to start...... So I start here and there and everywhere and absolutely nothing gets "perfect" and I end up getting frustrated and just stop trying..........

Last year I got motivated....... I felt like I really wanted to change........ I felt pretty damn good...

Then I got a little off track....... Took a brief sidetrip from the journey.........

Now I know I need to get back to trying to reach my goals.........

I still dont know where to start..... I still dont know how long the journey will be........

And I really, really hate trying to do this by myself........

But for now........... For now at least I have all my pasta, tuna fish & chicken broth all lined up.

Hey - It's a start............

Maybe when the rest of the kitchen is organized, I'll bake some bread.

Maybe when the rest of my life is organized, I'll even invite some friends over and we can laugh about me ever wanting to run away to become a Monk...........

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